Jesus

Without a doubt the most incredibly powerful influence I can imagine. At twenty two years old I stood at my dying fathers bed wanting so very badly to have the power to heal him. He was in an auto accident 20 years before that tore his whole body to shreds. My life from 4 years old had been filled with the pain of watching him turn from a powerful intelligent man to a skeleton with skin hanging from his bones. He told me they split his legs down the middle and patted his bones back to gather and put bolts through where his knees should be there they were at that moment coming through the skin with puss leaking out all the time. They were square nut carriage bolts with 3/8 inches past the nut that no one bothered to cut off. It looked like they really did not expect him to live. Surely not for another 20 years. I have wanted to be Jesus for every second since then. I wanted so very badly to be able to heal and to be good, so very good to get our fathers attention so he would love me as much and talk to me openly so I could hear his voice and know he could hear mine. I admit I have really been jealous of him. I would be sorry for that but I am sure it is natural and he designed me that way or it is just a symptom of being human and both my brother and my father understand. Then I read about the wisdom of Solomon in the bible my grandmother had given me at birth and I prayed so very hard for wisdom that would help my generation so that I could I suppose help people heal spiritually if not physically. It appears our father heard me and provided me with a life of extreme circumstances of human trauma that forced me to try harder and harder to find the answers to humanities strife. I read that bible that Granny Moody gave me in 1957 till there were only scraps of it left in a box that I took from house to house as I moved, and still I went to it to read and feel the emotions flooding my heart as the scriptures opened to me from the spiritual point of view the words were originally spoken from. I learned that I was so very far from having the wisdom to wield the power to heal as it would be so dangerous in the hands of one so young and still primarily human. I learned that there is great reason and purpose in everything so that what we see as catastrophe is actually perfectly orchestrated creation. I learned the power of sacrifice is giving our lives and health for the spiritual growth of those loved by our father before they came into being. Nothing is wasted especially the pain we and our loved ones suffer for the benefit our own loved ones. My fathers pain propelled me in the lifelong quest to be just like our lord and savior. How much greater of gift could he have given me? Thanks Dad Thank you.

Daily writing prompt

Who are the biggest influences in your life?